The initial panic and caution around Covid 19 pushed almost everyone to involuntarily stay in their residences for extended amounts of time. Granted, this was quite the adjustment. An arduous task for some who, suddenly had to confront the realities of daily living without the the distraction of commute or travel. They suddenly had to navigate conversations without the ever trusted fuel of liquor. They suddenly had to actually spend more than a weekend with their children and spouses, what an uphill task to even find conversation leave alone humor. They suddenly had to sit with themselves and comfort their mortality because the beginning of Covid 19 was real scary having people indiscriminately dropping like flies. Yet in that same time, there were people who were glad to be peacefully sequestered in their homes thriving in the silence with all the social pressures to interact completely erased.
We all have a bit of self-destruction in us and have in one way or the other in the course of our lives probably are and will continue to
To completely shut out the world is both a thing to be admired and feared in equal measure. On the one hand, genius creations and solutions can be the result of concentrated periods of solitude that allows the mind to harness its best abilities. On the other hand, extended solitude allows the same mind to wander down the path to a dark abyss that some are unable to pull themselves out of. There are some people who retreated into themselves during the lockdown and restriction of movement who have never come out and most likely never will. This could be attributed to many reasons such as alcohol or drug use, childhood trauma, low self-esteem, emotional and/or physical abuse. Few of us would care to admit that we are now using staying at home as a crutch to avoid dealing with some unpalatable truths about our loved ones and selves. Further to that, we live in some toxic spaces or that in many instances we are the toxic ones, effectively making life harder than it has to be for people around us.
We all have a bit of self-destruction in us and have in one way or the other in the course of our lives probably are and will continue to; it could be seemingly insignificant things as always procrastinating, sleeping poorly, being late, cancelling meetings, taking short cuts, kamataing more bottles than necessary, not exercising, staying in that relationship that doesn’t honour you, unhealthy eating, pushing people away or spending too much(splurging or retail therapy as the good ladies like referring to it). Extended periods of engaging in self-destructive behaviour and making them habits signals the use of these behaviours as a form of coping mechanism to deal with pressure, stress and the endless social demands that plague us. Anyway, it is important to know and accept yourself, try sort it out, get help if you’re unable to change some of these self-destructive behaviours and have yourself a life that is enjoyable on the good days and bearable on the slump days.
Mimi wako kwa hali na mali